I Want to Accept my Body, But…

Body acceptance can be tough to navigate, especially in a culture that constantly equates smaller with better.

Have you ever thought, "I want to accept my body, but ______ would be easier if it were smaller"? This pattern of thinking is something I hear frequently and it came up recently in a session.

In this particular case, my client was remembering a time when his body was smaller, and his back pain was less severe. “I want to accept my body, but my back pain would go away if I just lost weight.” It’s an understandable assumption—his higher weight must be the cause of his back pain, and if he could just return to that previous weight, the pain would go away. At the same time, he recognized that every attempt at weight loss has ultimately led to him ending up in a larger body. It’s that familiar struggle: wanting to accept your body as it is while also believing that if you could just find the right way to lose weight, things might be easier.

A common theme in these "but" statements is physical ability: I want to accept my body, but my back pain would go away if it were smaller. But walking up stairs would be easier. But keeping up with my kids wouldn’t be as exhausting. But my joints wouldn’t ache so much. These thoughts make complete sense. If your body is experiencing discomfort or limitation, of course you might wish it were different. It’s a very human response.

The Reality of Intentional Weight Loss

It’s true that everyone has different physical abilities, and for some people, it’s entirely possible that certain things would be easier in a smaller body. If someone experiences joint pain, fatigue, or mobility challenges, it’s understandable that they’d wonder if weight loss would help. 

At the same time, we also know that intentional weight loss is rarely a long-term solution. Most people who lose weight eventually regain it—often ending up heavier than they were before. Not because they failed, but because that’s just how bodies work. Instead of chasing weight loss as the fix, we can shift the focus to things that actually improve how you feel in your body—like building strength, finding movement that feels good, or finding strategies for pain management.

Working with a physical therapist can be a great way to build strength and manage pain, regardless of your body size

Does Smaller Always Mean More Capable?

We’re often told that losing weight is the key to better health and ability, but that’s not the full story. Strength, endurance, flexibility, and overall well-being are influenced by so much more than body size. People of all sizes can be strong and active, just like people in smaller bodies can struggle with physical limitations.

Focusing on weight as the only path to feeling better can sometimes pull attention away from what actually helps. If the goal is to feel more energized, have better mobility, or reduce pain, there are many ways to support those things that don’t rely on the scale.

Not Everyone Has the Same Physical Abilities

Regardless of body size, not everyone will have the same degree of physical ability. Every body is different, with unique strengths, limitations, and needs. The reality is that some things may always be harder for certain people, and that isn’t a personal failing—it’s just part of being human.

Unfortunately, our culture prioritizes the ease and comfort of those in smaller bodies, making it harder for people in larger bodies to navigate the world. From seating in public spaces to access to healthcare, many systems are designed with a thin-centered perspective, which can make everyday experiences more physically and emotionally challenging. This is a difficult reality to face, and it’s okay to feel frustrated, sad, or even angry about it. Acknowledging these systemic barriers is an important step in understanding that the issue isn’t just about individual body size, but also about the way our society creates unnecessary obstacles for people in larger bodies.

What Are You Actually Hoping For?

When I hear someone say they wish they were smaller to feel better, I like to dig a little deeper. What specific challenges are you facing? What do you actually want to be able to do?

For example, if long walks feel exhausting, the answer isn’t necessarily weight loss—it might be building up endurance or finding ways to fuel your body more appropriately. If joint pain is an issue, exploring movement options, physical therapy, or even supportive footwear might make a bigger—and more sustainable—impact than shrinking your body.

Activity appropriate footwear for the win!!

When we shift the focus from shrinking our bodies to supporting our bodies, the conversation changes. It becomes about care, not control.

Can You Accept Your Body and Still Want More for It?

Absolutely. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up or deciding you’ll never work toward change. It just means shifting from a place of self-criticism to self-care. Instead of thinking, “I need to lose weight to be more able,” try, “I want to feel stronger, more comfortable, and more energized in my body, and I can work toward that in ways that don’t hinge on the scale.” We also must acknowledge that some bodies need accommodations and that it is not our fault that the world wasn’t designed for people of all abilities and body sizes.

It’s okay to want to feel better in your body. It’s okay to feel frustrated by its limitations. And it’s okay to grieve the fact that some things might be harder. But instead of fighting against your body, what if you worked with it? What if you focused on what actually makes you feel good rather than chasing a number that may not give you the ease you’re hoping for?

Bodies are complicated. But the way we care for them doesn’t have to be.

If you’re struggling with your own version of, "I want to accept my body, but ______ would be easier if it were smaller," I’m here to support you. Whether you're ready to work toward body acceptance or simply want to feel more comfortable in your body, I’m here to help.